Spicy Bananas Presents: Stop Blaming Your Hormones. Start Releasing Your Grudges.
Let’s be real. You have done all the “right” things. New supplements. Cleaner meals. A fancier planner. Breathwork on Tuesdays. Yet you still feel wired and tired, your skin is acting out, your libido packed its bags, and your brain keeps doom-scrolling inside your skull.
Now your head is spinning.
“I did all of these things. How do I undo this? Why do I feel guilty, hopeless, and stuck on top of it?”
Welcome to Spicy Bananas, where polite health advice goes out the window, and we mix wellness with real life, sass, and yes, the occasional vodka shot. I am B1, that is B2, and today’s guest serves straight truth.
Meet Hannah Kok. Women’s vitality expert. Kinesiologist. Allergy practitioner. Medical intuitive. The woman who helps high-performing women stop blaming their hormones and start listening to them. She is not here with another diet. She is here to talk about the real culprits: repressed emotions, unhealed grudges, and the stress chemistry they unleash.
This one is juicy.
The Takeaway You Probably Do Not Want To Hear
Hormones are not your enemy. Emotions you refuse to process are.
In simple terms: strong emotions trigger chemical messengers that dock onto receptors on your cells. Stay angry, resentful, betrayed, or chronically on guard, and you keep bathing your body in stress signals. Muscles tighten. Blood flow drops. Detox stalls. The brain flips into survival mode. The smart part of your mind goes dim. Executive function tanks. You misread everything as a threat. Then you fight your partner for breathing too loud.
You think you have a hormone problem. Often you have an emotional congestion problem.
“But I Feel Fine.” No, You Feel F.I.N.E.
Many high achievers are masters of F.I.N.E.
Freaked out. Insecure. Neurotic. Emotional.
You smile. You soldier on. You do not make a scene. You swallow the spike of anger, the lump of grief, the pinch of envy, the hit of shame. All that energy needs a home. If it does not move out, it moves in. It turns into tight jaws, tight hips, tight chests, tight pelvic floors, tight schedules, and tighter tempers.
Your body is not subtle. It will escalate the alarm until you listen.
The Sneaky Grudge That Wrecks Your Mojo
Hannah’s pick for the most overlooked libido killer: resentment.
Resentment strangles the Circulation/Sex meridian in traditional systems. Translation: the more grudges you store, the less your life force flows. Hannah once released a deep layer of resentment during training and watched a long-standing pelvic floor issue resolve overnight. No new gadget. No surgery. Just the pressure valve finally opening.
If you are crossing your legs to sneeze, sprinting to the bathroom mid-workout, or avoiding intimacy because your body feels “locked,” this is your sign to look beyond Kegels. Strength without softness is a trap. Release unlocks both.
Your Brain On Beef: Why You Cannot Think Straight When You Are Angry
When stress spikes, your prefrontal cortex powers down. Up to a lot. That is the part that handles compassion, context, planning, and impulse control. You also lose easy access to one hemisphere, so you get stuck in details without the big picture, or lofty ideas without follow-through. It is like driving on three flat tires and wondering why the car feels weird.
Then you start misreading neutral signals. A lip twitch becomes an insult. A sigh becomes rejection. A delayed text becomes betrayal. Your body is scanning for danger, so your mind invents it.
Where Is Your Energy Really Going
Imagine you have 10 units of energy per day. Rough math: 6 go to repair, digestion, and immune function. 4 run your life. Ruminate on a grudge and you donate those repair units to your mental hamster wheel. Now your body falls behind on maintenance. That is when you start to look older, heal slower, and feel flatter.
It is not only what you eat. It is what is eating you.
Forgiveness, Unromantic Edition
Let’s strip the fluff.
Forgiveness is not:
- Letting someone back into your life
- Condoning what happened
- A moral performance where you declare yourself the bigger person
Forgiveness is:
- Accepting the starting point. It happened.
- Extracting the gold. What did it teach you. What strength did it force you to grow.
- Owning your mirror. The trait that triggers you in others often maps to how you treat yourself.
That last point stings. The rude person who sets you off. How do you speak to yourself after a mistake. The partner who “never listens.” How often do you ignore your own inner voice. See the mirror, and the grudge melts. You do not need to forgive a mirror. You change the person standing in front of it.
Real forgiveness feels soothing in the body. You can recall the event without the rush, clench, or heat. That is how you know you are done.
Hormones Or Heartbreak: What Is Really Behind Your Symptoms
We played a rapid-fire round with Hannah. Here is the gist.
- Crying during sex
Could be biology. Could be buried grief. Could be pain you never named. Use lube. Use honesty. Use curiosity. - Snapping at your partner for breathing wrong
That is your nervous system looking for a fight. The breath is not the problem. Your unprocessed irritation is. - Zero libido while running five businesses
Achievement as anesthesia. If your self-worth is all output, intimacy will feel like another task or a risk you do not have bandwidth for. Also, sometimes workaholism is just avoidance dressed up as grit. - Dead inside after a breakup that never ends
Time does not heal. Work does. Closure is built, not granted. Find the lesson, feel the grief, and complete the cycle or you will keep dating the same person with different shoes. - Skin freaking out
Skin often reflects separation conflict. Missing someone intensely or needing distance you are too scared to ask for. Your face tells on you.
Practical Reset: Undoing The Emotional Pileup
No fluff. Here is a playbook you can start today.
1) Run a 7-day Resentment Cleanse
- List three grudges that live rent-free in your head.
- For each, write: what happened, what it cost, what it taught, how it shaped me for the better.
- Decide one boundary or behavior you will change so you never relive it.
2) Move Stuck Charge Out Of Tissue
- Daily 10 minutes: shake, hip circles, humming, long exhales.
- Walk outside without headphones and name five things you see, hear, and feel. Presence is medicine.
3) Single-Task Something Boring
- Cook, fold, or shower without audio. Your nervous system needs silence reps. Your subconscious will talk when you stop drowning it.
4) Audit Your Inputs
- Cap news and doom content. Replace one episode with music, mantras, or silence. Your subconscious never sleeps. Feed it on purpose.
5) Learn Nervous System Yes/No
- Yes feels spacious and steady.
- No feels contracted and urgent.
Practice saying no to one thing this week that steals your repair units.
6) If Sex Feels Off
- Pain, dryness, shutdown, or tears are data. Get lube. Get a therapist or pelvic floor PT if needed. Get honest with your partner. Curiosity beats performance.
Myths To Throw In The Bin
- “If I eat perfectly and take the right stack, I will be fine.”
Food matters. Supplements can help. They do not fix emotional debt. - “Time heals all wounds.”
Time plus truth, feeling, meaning, boundary, and integration heals wounds. Time alone hardens them. - “Holding a grudge keeps me safe.”
It keeps you inflamed. Safety comes from discernment, boundaries, and self-respect, not clenched teeth.
The Inner Lift Before The Face Lift
Do whatever you want with your body. No judgment. Just know this: the most magnetic people are not the most edited. They are the most integrated. They have a calm center and a clear voice. They like themselves without a reason. That is the work.
Start there. Watch how your choices about food, movement, skincare, sex, and surgery change without force.
Real Talk
You are not broken. You are backed up.
Clear the backlog. Forgive what needs forgiving. Ask for what you actually want. Let your nervous system feel boring on purpose. Protect the six repair units like payroll. Your hormones will stop screaming when your emotions stop festering.
If you want more from Hannah, find her at HannahKok.com and grab her “hormonal balance” audio gift. Play it softly while you sleep or work. Passive cleanup still counts.
Now hit follow, leave five spicy stars, and go forgive the hell out of something today. Your body is waiting to exhale.
🎧 Listen to the full episode now:
👉Is Resentment Wrecking Your Hormones & Sex Drive?
– Episode 27