Forgiveness, Friendship, and Fire: How Byron & Margaret Kept Love Alive for 27 Years
“I’m a very forgiving person and she’s not… so some of the fire she put out, I just had to dust it off and keep on moving.”
That’s Byron, half of the couple behind the Beyond I Do Podcast. And if you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, you know exactly what he means. Marriage isn’t about perfection. It’s about finding the balance between fire and forgiveness, passion and patience.
On this episode of Spicy Bananas Podcast, we (your hosts B1 and B2, two mates who spent years working behind the counter of an adult store having all the awkward conversations) dove deep with Byron and Margaret, a couple who have been married for 27 years, written a book (Unlocking Forever: 10 Keys to a Successful Marriage), and somehow still laugh, flirt, and keep the spark alive.
The Bedrock of Marriage: Friendship First
Byron and Margaret made it clear that friendship is the foundation of their marriage.
- They check in with each other daily.
- They share inside jokes.
- They encourage one another’s hobbies (even when motorcycle rides and crochet nights collide).
That friendship spills over into emotional intimacy, which fuels sexual intimacy. Margaret put it bluntly: “The more trust we built outside the bedroom, the more adventurous and safe I felt inside the bedroom.”
Communication: Hard Conversations Made Easier
Everyone says communication is key, but what does that actually look like in real life? For Byron and Margaret, it is not just about talking; it is about how you talk.
- When words get heated, they write them down.
- They have used handwritten letters and now texts to give each other space to process before tackling the hard stuff.
- They know when to step back, cool off, and come back with clarity.
As Byron admitted, “If you ask me five questions at once, I’ll forget the first four.” Writing it out helps him get his full thoughts across without getting lost.
Lesson here? Don’t just talk. Find the medium that works for you as a couple.
Why Liking Each Other Matters More Than Just Loving
Love is expected. But like is what keeps things alive.
“Society tells us love is all you need,” Margaret said. “But love alone doesn’t mean you actually want to spend time with that person. You have to work on liking each other.”
That means finding things you actually enjoy together. Sometimes it is date nights. Sometimes it is just hanging out, laughing, or trying a new class.
Love may keep you bonded. But liking each other keeps you coming back.
Who’s the Boss in the Kitchen (and Beyond)?
Spoiler: it’s Margaret. She cooks, Byron grills. And together, they have figured out who takes the lead in different parts of their lives.
That is another unfiltered truth of long marriages. Play to your strengths and compromise on the rest.
Their No-Filter Marriage Advice
Byron and Margaret did not hold back when asked about their unfiltered advice for couples:
- Keep everybody else out of your business.
- Work on liking each other every day.
- Just touch each other. Physical affection outside the bedroom fuels intimacy inside it.
And maybe the most real moment of the interview:
“I can put up with her shit because I like her. That’s what friendship does. It gives you the patience to stick around.”
The Tools That Keep Them Connected
- Bedtime rituals: When the kids were young, 30 minutes every night was non-negotiable. Just talking, laughing, or lying on each other’s shoulders.
- Intentional time: Whether it is texts throughout the day or planning weekends away, they make time.
- Shared hobbies: Motorcycle rides and crochet might sound worlds apart, but finding common ground (like trips to the yarn store on the bike) is what matters.
From Marriage to Microphones
The couple did not just keep their wisdom to themselves. Inspired by watching couples on Steve Harvey, they launched the Beyond I Do Podcast and co-wrote a book.
Their mission? To be an example for couples who did not grow up seeing healthy love in action. To prove that you can stay married for nearly three decades and still actually like each other.
Final Thoughts
Here’s what we took away:
- Marriage is not about never fighting; it is about fighting fair and moving forward.
- Intimacy starts outside the bedroom with trust, kindness, and vulnerability.
- Liking each other is just as important as loving each other.
- Marriage is built on the small, daily choices to connect, forgive, and keep showing up.
Big thanks to Byron and Margaret for keeping it raw, honest, and heartfelt. If you want more from them, check out the Beyond I Do Podcast and their book Unlocking Forever.
And if you are still reading this blog instead of touching your partner, go fix that.
🎧 Listen to the full episode now:
👉Marriage & Intimacy: Can You Really Keep the Spark Alive?
– Episode 19